Today is her birthday.
Missing her doesn't get much easier with time. I still look at her pictures, talk to her on the phone and feel that pain in my heart that never really goes away. I feel like I have failed her, failed as a mother. I couldn't take care of her, couldn't provide for her. There are so many questions on my mind. Will she resent me for my shortcomings as a parent? Other moms seem to be able to hold things together just fine. Why didn't I make better choices? Why can't I be better, give her everything she needs? Will she think that I gave up on her? Does she really understand why I had to do what I did, or does she just say she understands? Will she still love me when she comes back?
What does it mean to be a good mother? Am I a bad mom?
Am I a bad mom?