Sunday, September 11, 2011
I keep telling myself I'm going to start blogging regularly again, and I keep putting it off. Not because I don't want to, but I never think I have anything worth saying anymore. Maybe I don't, but I figured today, my birthday, is as good a time as ever to drag my ass back here.
The last time I blogged about my birthday, my life was very different. I was very different. Since then I have changed in many ways, mostly good, some...not so much. I have experienced much, and learned even more. I've learned that I am the only person in charge of me, and I cannot sit back and rely on others to decide my fate. People may influence my life for better or worse, but at the end of the day, I'm calling the shots, and I have learned when and how to make better, smarter choices. I spent a long time playing a passive role in my life story, and I'm done with that version of myself.
In this moment my life is, with very few exceptions, exactly what I want it to be. I have a home. I have my daughter back. I am comfortable with my place in the world. I cut my hair, I lost 15 pounds, I'm on my way to becoming the person I wished I was two years ago. Sometimes I struggle with the bills, sometimes Autumn misses living with both of her parents, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. What matters is that I go to bed every night in a place where I feel safe and loved. Things are good, and they're getting better.